Gone crazy

Yep, I think I've made it to "craziness". I've been driving myself insane with worry about if this pregnancy is going to progress or not.

I've continued to test everyday and my tests got slightly darker for a couple of days and then seemed to stall. This mornings was slightly darker again today. This is exactly what happened to me when I had my last early miscarriage back in April. They are just not getting dark enough, quick enough. I know you're probably thinking that pee tests can't show you if your HCG levels are rising well enough or not, but actually in my experience there is a direct correlation. Last time I had my HCG tested every 2nd day and was also doing a pee test every day. I found I could predict what my levels would be, based on my pee sticks.

On Wednesday I had worked myself up into such a state that I called the clinic and asked if I could test earlier than Monday. I didn't confess that I had already tested. They relented and said I could test on Saturday (tomorrow) but no earlier. I was going to my GP anyway on Wednesday, so while I was there, I told her I thought I was pregnant and asked if I could have my levels tested. I did confess to her that the clinic wouldn't let me test yet. She let me have a blood test. From my pee stick that day I estimated my levels would be between 40 and 60. They came back at 49. This was 14dpo and the average for that day according to betabase is around 100. So I'm not feeling confident, even though it is not a ridiculously low number and could still be ok.

Yesterday I started heavy spotting, brown. Today it is turning red and is more a light flow than spotting. Beginning of the end. My basal body temperatures have dropped over the last 3 or 4 days. So all this adds up to another non-viable pregnancy I think. I guess I will know more tomorrow when we get the results from tomorrows blood test. If the level is above 170, then I might be in with a chance. If it is over 200 I will be happy, if it is over 300 I will be ecstatic. Realistically, I think it will probably be around 100.

Will keep you posted...